Sweet Surrender!

 

 
 
 

Those are my FitBit stats since I have left the hospital. Nope, not obsessed at all lol. The cardio and fat burn is based on the amount of minutes my heart rate was in those zones. This has helped me realize that walking is so challenging for my body that it is sometimes a form of cardio. This has helped me mentally embrace how hard my body is working just to walk some days so even though the amount of steps may have decreased, the effort I put into those steps actually increased.

 

I am still searching for all the lessons to be found in this experience with illness. In hindsight I feel like the first lesson wasn't new but applying a lesson I have known for a very long time. We can't control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we react to what happens to us. I didn't experience fear or panic like you would think. I felt a certain amount of surrender to the fact that I couldn't feel my limbs. I felt like I could trust the...

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Coping with Chronic Illness: Attitude of Gratitude

 
I was standing in the shower tonight washing my hair and almost fell over backwards. I forgot that I no longer have the ability to balance with my eyes closed. Surprisingly, my immediate feeling was gratitude. I feel grateful for this experience. It is challenging, frustrating, and tedious but I am learning so many lessons along the way. I immediately thought of this photo by Monty Knowles, it has been in my mind all day. To me it is a reminder of both my inner and outer strength, my courage, and my flexibility in all aspects of life. I know these rough days suck and I can't always make the best of them no matter how hard I try but tonight I do feel blessed and grateful. I am grateful that I can walk again even if I do have a little limp some days and every step hurts. I am grateful that I have had new ideas to help people in similar situations. I am grateful for the challenge to stay positive in a difficult situation. Most of all I am grateful for my friends, family, and...
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Bumps in the Road

These words are my daily reminder right now that despite my body not feeling like my own, I am still me and I need to let that tiny inner light keep shining. These past few days have been challenging. I really hate being negative but my friends have told me that it is just as important to share the bad as it is the good. My fatigue levels have been ridiculously high throughout the weekend and I don't seem to be making progress.

I went for a walk on Sunday and it was the same walk I did with my mom last Sunday, a day after getting out of the hospital. This week I had to rest at three different park benches in order to make it home. I was really frustrated that my fatigue felt like it was getting worse instead of better. Then when I got home and laid in bed every muscle in my body started to throb and ache in severe pain. I wanted to go to sleep but the pain was too much. Eventually I took an over-the-counter sleeping pill and Doan's and was able to fall asleep an hour later.

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Lazy Girl's Lasagna

 
Since I have been home from the hospital I have been eating mainly raw food. Primarily because I feel like my body needs as many nutrients, enzymes and antioxidants as possible and secondly because I don't have enough energy to cook. Today was a rainy, dreary day with a doctors appointment that provided no answers so I felt like a little comfort food. I threw this together with as little prep time as humanly possible. I would say I spent less than five minutes in the kitchen and tried to make it as healthy and low calorie as possible.

The entire recipe has about 615 calories, 27 grams of fat, 60 carbs, and 37 grams of protein, so I would recommend making it into two portions meaning 308 calories, 18 grams of fat, 30 carbs, and 18.5 grams of protein.

 

Ingredients:

1 eggplant

1 cup of low-fat mozzarella cheese

1 cup of spaghetti sauce

1 tablespoon Italian herbs

salt

 
 

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 F

1. Slice eggplant...

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Heading Home from the Hospital

  

July 30

Transitioning home felt good. My mom was there to help and Bodhi was delighted to see me! Saturday morning we woke up and headed to Haymarket to get my fruits and veggies for the week and then went to Target to pick up a few necessities. It was my first day out of the hospital and I walked about 1.75 miles! When we got home my legs were throbbing and aching in pain and I found it difficult to stand up for the rest of the day. My nurse came to teach me how to give myself B12 injections. I wasn't feeling great and looking at the needle was making me queasy, it didn't help that the needles ordered were an inch too long for my lean muscles. I started crying because I didn't have the guts to do it myself. I wanted so badly to be independent and do it on my own. I also knew that if I could take the pain when a nurse did it, then I could also do it myself but my mind just wouldn't cooperate. I felt extremely frustrated with everything. I figured I...

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The Perfect Day Gone Wrong

 
I had the most perfect day and it ended with me in the emergency room. My day was filled with training clients, teaching a Pilates class, going for a beautiful run along the Charles River, taking some self care time afterwards to foam roll, I went home and played with my dog, and finished up back at the gym making plans for my clients. At 7pm when I stood up from my desk I had no feeling in my right leg and my ankle buckled underneath my weight. I tried to shake it off. I used the chair and desk to brace myself and regain my balance but the feeling in my leg didn't return. I figured out how to carefully walk with the numbness and got to my car and drove home. By 10pm I started losing the feeling in my left leg too. I went to bed anyways but at midnight my dog woke me up and I was losing feeling in my groin, lower abdomen, hands and forearms. My dog, Bodhi, was wide awake and alert. It was so out of character and I could tell something wasn't right in...
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The Five Points of Yoga

I am living at a yoga ashram for the next seven weeks and have found myself less disciplined than ever when it comes to online work that I need to do in the social media world. I have become immersed in my own self development and doing whatever makes me happy instead of focusing on responsibilities. I suppose that is what coming to an ashram is supposed to make you do! Whenever I come here it always makes me feel selfish that I am not giving back to the world. Coming here recharges my battery though, it makes it so I can better serve my clients and students. I think that is because there is an emphasis on living a yogic lifestyle that brings your body back into balance and gets rid of a lot of unnecessary distractions.
 

In the Sivananda lineage of yoga they teach that there are five points of yoga. These are the five components you need to function at your prime.

 
  1. Proper Breathing

  2. Proper Nutrition

  3. Proper Exercise

  4. Proper Relaxation

  5. Positive Thinking and...

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